Hints from the team

Weekly relationship hints to help you make your girlfriend or wife ridiculously happy.

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The Art of Sexting

There is a time and place for text messaging, but when it comes to sexting, the critical factor is skill. When done correctly, sexting can be one of the best ways to build the kind of sexual tension that leads to explosive encounters (and who doesn’t want to get jumped in the doorway after a long day at work?). Tread carefully, if you’re a lame sexter, you might end up with nothing more than sexual frustration.

Here are a few simple guidelines to help you become a Jedi sext master.

To start, a quick definition:

1. Sexting (sex / ting)
v: the act of text messaging someone in the hopes of having a sexual encounter with them later; initially casual, transitioning into highly suggestive and even sexually explicit.

Real men sext, wait to respond, and then send subtle yet clear suggestions of what they plan to do. The key is to elicit emotion—a desire for the other person. There is no need to be overly explicit; try conveying the feeling of the action rather than just describing the end result. Don’t say, "I want to see you naked,” but instead, "I want to slowly remove your clothes.” Expert sexters are masters of the sous-entendre (that’s French for reading between the lines). Never be too clear, nor too vague.

Some girls want to hear what you’re going to do to them, while others might want to hear how badly you need them. Tailor your message to your woman. To adapt the famous saying from the Art of War, “Know your girlfriend and know yourself, find naught in fear for 100 battles.” The battle here is finding a way to tap into her fantasies. If you play it right, you’re guaranteed to win.

Finally, a note on taking it slow: Successful sexting hinges on your timing. The purpose of a sext-message exchange is to build anticipation. Use the art of slow, skillful sexting to heighten the mood and plant ideas that will brew all day, driving her crazy with the thought of bringing those ideas to fruition. Start early, build it up, slow things down, and then get her riled up again right before your paths are set to cross.

Learning to play her a song on your iPhone might help, too, but that’s a whole other lesson.

And for a list of what not to do, check out this opus of crap from celebrity “sexter extraordinaire Tiger Woods.”