Helping guys (try) to understand their girlfriends – not an easy job!
During the past couple weeks, our crack team of relationship experts have been helping men solve some daunting dating problems on forums such as Reddit, Yahoo Answers and Wikihow. We’ve decided to share a few examples with you:
Question #1: We’ve been dating almost a year now, and she’s moved in with me. Since we started dating, though, she’s put on weight, and I’m getting less physically attracted to her (I still like her face and personality). I’m not super-active, but I go to the gym a couple times a week and watch what I eat. Last week, she said “I love you,” and I couldn’t say it back. I think it was because I projected us a year or two into the future… (Read rest here)
Our response: Pointing out weight gain to women is definitely a major no-no. Suggest activities for you two to do together, invite her to go with you to the gym or make her a healthy dinner. Put a candle on the table and she’ll eat anything you make for her. There are other ways to approach this situation other then being direct. You need to evaluate your feelings for your girlfriend. If you really love her for who she is and what she means to you then an extra 5-10 pounds really shouldn’t matter.
Question #2: I started dating this girl last year and it was my Senior year in college and she was a Sophomore. We were very close, and then I had to graduate. I go to grad school in another state about 16 hours (driving) away, so naturally I broke up with her because I didn’t want to do a long distance relationship. Even though I tried to break it up, we still kept in touch and actually became even closer, she found someone else :( She started acting weird and now recently we’ve been talking and I kinda want to transfer back to the state I was back in so I can be with her. Should I follow my heart (it is drowning in painbecause I am not with her) or stay rational and do what a “rational” person does? (Full version here) (For the musical version, click here)
Our response: If you’re still feeling as strongly for her as you used to that’s a definite sign. You broke up in the first place to avoid breaking each other’s hearts but you heart is still broken now without her. Maybe this time apart from each other is what you need to realize that you do want to be with her long term. Time will allow both of you to figure out if you’re meant for each other.
Question #3: We are extremely compatible socially, chemically, and my god sexually. I have always been more attracted to her than anyone I ever remember meeting, let alone dating. She is quite literally my dream girl. I know that for the majority of our relationship we have struggled to build trust in each other. But I can’t seem to say anything about how beautiful I think she is, or something I love about her body, or just letting her know I’m always admiring her. Apparently I just don’t do enough, or say the right things enough, and for ultimately whatever reason, what has happened is that it feels like she’s more resistant or less receptive to things I say that are meant to make her feel good and reinforce how I feel about her. Help? Perspective? Anything. (Read the full version here)
Our response: Sounds like a typical boyfriend-girlfriend situation you have going on there. It is very common that women have low self-esteem, which mostly stems from the pressures of society for girls to look a certain way. It’s important to keep reminding her how beautiful you think she is and what you love about her so much, even if it feels redundant. Try writing her a list of things you love about her. Talk about how beautiful she is to you and why you’re so attracted to her and put it up in the mirror of her bathroom so she can see it every morning when she takes a shower (or in her room, wherever she puts her makeup on to get ready). Cute little gestures every once in a while don’t hurt either, like getting her flowers or taking her shopping and buying her some nice lingerie that you’ll find her completely irresistible in. A girl will feel sexy if her boyfriend literally can’t keep his hands off her.
Questions have been modified for length.
Every problem has a solution, it just takes the right combination of effort, understanding and honesty to make things right. The occasional surprise doesn’t hurt, either. Fear not, Make Your Girlfriend Happy is here to help with it all.